Dairy and Gluten, An Unrequited Love Story

Hey pals! I've been gone a spell but I promise, I've been diligently dining and whining daily. I gave up writing about it a few months ago (last year) because I got sick of photographing my food at restaurants. For someone who just wants to sit in a booth and privately savor one bite after another and generally coast through life unnoticed, it really wasn't playing my song. But check it out - I turned 30 in February so now I'm free of all that self aware bullshit (or I'm telling myself it is in fact so), and since this ain't for a grade I'm going to continue without ceremony. There. Now I'm just like you!
These revelations must be made. And of course, they're made to be shared so thanks for playing and let's get going!







By my hippie doctor's orders, I've abandoned gluten and dairy (so long, beloveds), for better living without allergies.
"Allergies, d'you say?"
Allergies. You guys, I've been fighting headaches, unholy itching, bloating, constipation and sleep all these years, just assuming I was atoning for something I did wrong in a past life.
Not so.
After a blood test, I've been thusly classified:
I''m allergic to casein, the protein found in cow's milk, Gluten, the protein found in wheat, rye and barley, Dust mites and Cock roaches. All likely producing headaches, digestive troubles, fatigue, listlessness, and brain fog, (and I thought I was just fried from college). All these years, I assumed everyone struggled with these things, and I was just being a baby. When I couldn't cope, I'd pop some ibuprofen and hit another pint of ice cream. Or some pizza. Or both.You know the drill.

Not pizza.

Alas, the list of foods I must avoid grows. After my juice cleanse last fall I've stayed off of caffeine, meat and most processed foods. Now when we're out to eat I'm left staring slack-jawed at menus, and I'm always on the look out for quick meals I can throw together at home. So when Bill throws a Totinos in the oven, I press through my sorrow and open my heart to a little more effort and start chopping. If I'm really pressed for time, I'll grab for *gasp* canned beets, but mostly, timely cooking is a brand new challenge. Here's what I'm working with these days:
Produce, Produce, Produce, nuts, eggs, Coconut milk, Almond milk, Rice, Quinoa, Brown rice pasta, Udi's Gluten Free tortillas, mung bean noodles and other wheat free creations, which, while not found too often in restaurants, are carried by most grocery stores in their "health food" aisle. I call it the "Fivef***indollarsforwhat?!?!?!" section.

Luckily, swearing off pizza and fast food has been excellent for my brain and body. Though I haven't quite put my mind to it, I imagine losing weight would now be a snap, especially since I CAN'T DRINK BEER.

My doctor also informed me that my cholesterol is too low, so I've been given carte blanche to gorge on avocado, fish, nuts and chia seeds, and have implemented the seed cycle. It's been a couple months now and while I could have been better at meeting the 2-tablespoon-a-day quota, I like to think I'm feeling better.

Chia Seed Pudding

So, if you're feeling like you might be missing out on high performance living, or just want to see if you could maybe feel a little better than you do, holler at me and I'll send you some recipes. Look, here's one now!
Chia Seed Pudding
 I make this at night and have it the next morning. And the next morning and the next. After that I have to make a new batch.
You'll need:
a quart container with a tight fitting lid
1/2 c chia seeds
1 1/4 c vanilla almond milk
1 1/4 c vanilla coconut milk
cinnamon
topping suggestions:
sliced banana
chopped roasted almonds
toasted coconut flakes

Combine the milks in the container, add as much cinnamon (and/or masala spice) as you like, maybe about a tablespoon total, then add in the seeds. Stirring here helps to avoid clumps from forming but if you're really fast you can just pop the lid on and tell your shake weight you found a new boyfriend.
Refrigerate for at least four hours, shaking whenever you open the fridge, or once, or never. Clumps are not the worst, since most of the milk will get absorbed no matter what, and a clump or two will provide some surprising crunch. Assemble in a small bowl with your preferred toppings and experience omega-3 fatty acids like never before!